5 Major Reasons Not To Have s*x Every Day Is GREAT For Your Marriage

Give it a rest, already.
I enjoy s*x, a lot — the act alone, encompasses so many options and opportunities for pleasure, connection and even exercise. I also talk about s*x in marriage a lot, usually with people who aren’t getting it right or simply aren’t getting it.

Most of the time, I work with couples to move them toward “daily intimacy.”

But I find that most people assume that daily intimacy means s*xual intercourse daily. It doesn’t!

I define “intimacy” as loving experiences that bring you closer together (mentally, emotionally, and physically) — experiences that you couldn’t have in front of others without making them uncomfortable, nor would you brag about paying someone to do them for you. (For example: If you get regular massages from a professional and might consider Grandma accompanying you to a session, then that massage is not an act of intimacy for you.)

Having s*x every day certainly fits well within this description of intimacy, and it’s a great way to kick start a new or a floundering s*x life. However, having s*x every day in marriage (or other long term relationships) can easily start to feel expected, mechanical, monotonous, … even lifeless.

s*x then begins to rank right up there with brushing our teeth or taking a shower; it feels good, but we don’t do it for enjoyment or deeper connection with each other, we do it out of routine or need.

Some couples get stuck in this monotony, while others go overboard trying to avoid boring, mechanical s*x. They turn s*x into a contact sport with assigned positions and sometimes even a team of players, all in a desperate attempt to keep things exciting.

As a woman, using s*x as a means to an end leaves you feeling as though YOU were the one used as a means to an end.

If the focus becomes checking off items on a checklist or successfully implementing the plays in a “how to have hot s*x” playbook, you’d feel like the ball in a soccer game being kicked around, until you reach the goal.